68-year-old man wonders how to properly break up his 35-year-long marriage: ‘I don’t want to hurt her but I don’t think I can stay. This is going to be life altering for both of us’

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jul 26, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

Together, but not for the rest of our lives

Breaking up in your twenties is one thing; in your thirties, another; in your forties, another, but at 68? That's wild, and I'm totally here for it; it's never too late to change your life and try new stuff. I suppose marriage at that age is also about helping each other with tasks that were much easier when you're young but become physically difficult when you get older. I don't mean to be ageist; it's just something my family members who are that age told me or talk to me about in general. Of course, not all is about that, and there's also a great deal of companionship at that age which is about love, friendship, and wanting to stay together; but if we're tired of co-living and want to start over, why shouldn't we? We should finally get past that as a society.

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  • old man kissing old woman on the cheek
    via Esther Ann

    The elderly couple before the breakup

    Not actual subjects

  • I, 68M, am planning to end my relationship with partner 66F after 35 years. Looking to hear from others who have ended long relationships.

    I'm 68 M and she is 66 F. We are unmarried but have been together for 35 years and I am planning to end it. In our 30s and 40s we raised her child together, had pets, a good s life, careers, and had lots of
    via Stairwayscaredandare
  • fun times. Some fighting and disagreement but life kept us busy and we got along. In our 50s when our child moved out and our circle of friends got smaller we had more conflict. We
    via Stairwayscaredandare
  • were compatible in values and politics but we didn't get along on lots of day to day stuff. We saw some couples therapists to resolve our differences but nothing stuck. Resentment grew for both of us.
    via Stairwayscaredandare
  • 5 years ago we moved across country together. More conflict. We learned how to have vicious angry disagreements and then just resume normal living an hour later without
    via Stairwayscaredandare
  • resolution. The fighting has been enough to k l our S life which was still alive until about 3 years ago. We are bad housemates. A hundred things. I can't stand how noisy she is, her
    via Stairwayscaredandare
  • lack of critical thinking in problem solving, her increasing reliance on me socially (she is introverted and made no friends here), her lack of any kind of filter when she has even a
    via Stairwayscaredandare
  • single beer which she has every night. She has a dog that she has not trained and it barks constantly. She has her own list of complaints about me. 20% of the time we are in sync and laughing and
    via Stairwayscaredandare
  • having a good time. I don't hate her. I don't dislike her. I just cant stand living with her anymore. I don't want to hurt her but I don't think I can stay. This is going to be life altering for both of us.
    via Stairwayscaredandare
  • eldery couple sitting on bench
    via Matt Bennett

    The couple reflecting on parting ways

    Subjects are models

  • I would like to hear from anyone who has ended a long relationship later in life. How did it work out for both of you? What was the hardest part? Are you glad you did it? Were there any surprises? Any suggestion?
    via Stairwayscaredandare
  • crownandcoke24 Try separating your bedrooms first maybe. Sounds like you both need space from each other.
    via Stairwayscaredandare
  • migmultisync Are you in a place financially to temporarily move to a close by apartment? Sometimes just getting space from the things that bother you is enough to make them matter less
    via Stairwayscaredandare
  • elderly man sitting alone
    via Wade Austin Ellis

    The man when he moves by himself

    Stock image for illustration

  • I will always celebrate anyone who wants to start something new, and that defies what we normally think a life should look like; that said, I think a change like that should be approached gradually. I mean, if it were for me, every breakup at any age should be approached gradually; it’s just something I prefer given the chance. When you share a house and have spent most of your life with somebody, undoing that overnight might feel too vertiginous. But I think if this man plays his cards right, he will not break any hearts and they’ll both have an opportunity to live a new, exciting life! Godspeed to him.



     

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relationship advice relationships toxic relationship relationship drama
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